The Realization

I don’t know what to do.

My life has thrown me a curveball,

and suddenly I’m lost in my own self confusion.

Even the thought of losing you tears through my body,

and makes me feel as though I’m not even alive anymore.

You are my breath,

and I can’t survive without you.

I never thought this would be so hard,

but as the reality draws closer,

the pain grows deeper…

and my heart more empty…

and my body drowns in tears.

My true feelings seem to surface,

and tell me I’ve been lying to myself,

and taking for granted the one good thing that ever happened to me…

the only thing that ever made me feel truly alive…

the one thing that actually made me care.

I care about you-

about us,

and I refuse to just give up without a fight.

Your love means too much to me.

The only problem is,

I didn’t ever realize how much…

…Until now.

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My Secret Name

I know the names I'm called behind my back

   whispered throughout the halls,

and passed between notes in class.

   each person probably knows me by something different,

and each name seems to be worse than the last.

   I know the names I'm called behind my back,

but secretly, I know my real name is simply "me."

Life Without Work

            In a world with no work

I’d be lemonade

Sweet and cooling

On a warm summer’s day

My head would be clear,

For once,

Worry free, stress free

My mind would no longer

Be dressed in an orange jumpsuit

Or locked behind the school’s walls

            I’d laugh more,

And play more,

Smile more,

And sing more…

And my whole life would be perfect…

Or so you would think

            But when my family would get hungry

There’d be no restaurant to feed them

And when they’d get sick

There’d be no doctors to save them

And when they’d die

There’d be no pasture to help morn

Or grave digger to dig

And no God to carry them to heaven…

            But if there was no God

Then we wouldn’t be here at all

There’d be no sun in the sky

There’d be no life…

No lemonade,

Or school,

No laughter,

Or smiles…

No work…

Nothing

©2004 Sarah Hansen

Who I am

            I am a girl

With boring blue eyes

Which illuminate

into florescent neon turquoise

When lined with certain colors

            I am the feeling

That you feel,

That your parents feel,

That your friends feel…

Happiness, pain, and grief.

Every one wrapped up

And tied with a bow around my heart…

            I am the fortune

That you always wished you had.

Not money,

But the whole “idea”

Of having everything,

And actually being happy for once.

            I am the creature

In your closet

And the monster

Under your bed waiting to grab you

When you step somewhere you shouldn’t.

            I am the sun

That shines through your bedroom window every morning…

Waking you up.

Until that day you stay asleep,

Because you closed your blinds,

And blocked me out…

So I couldn’t even look at you from afar.

©2004